Big Brother is a woman named Alexa. 2019 is 1984

Everyone knows the famous novel 1984. Prior to Big Brother being a TV show that involving washed up bigoted Z list celebs and having countless international spin offs (Pooja, what is this behavior?), it was actually the name of an authoritarian surveillance system in a novel written in the 50s about the role technology could play if utilised by the wrong forces. In typical 2019 fashion though, we’ve decided that we’re not gonna accept that. Why should the personification of evil always be a man? Why can’t it be a woman? Why can’t it be Big Sister instead? In fact, she has a name ok, it’s Alexa and she’s more an intersection of genders and identities *scoffs in sjw*.

I jest. But for real tho, this is a scary world we live in, yet everyone has a fixated smile glued on to their faces for every new gimmick introduced.

‘She’s always listening to everything you say, you know that right?’

‘Bro she can turn my lights off and tell me the weather tho’

Orwell was right about the possibility of an authoritarian society. But, instead of the big evil big brother ruling with an iron fist, it is more akin to the soft kiss of a beautiful woman wearing poison lipstick. Your privacy isn’t taken away from you, you willingly give it up in exchange for promises of sweet nothings and frivolous gimmicks you’re never gonna use.

I watched a video for some training program I was on of one of those virtual assistant thingies making plans for it’s human. ‘I’ve noticed your saturday afternoon is free, so I booked you in to visit Uncle Mary and Aunt Dave (The genders are switched here unintentionally, but since it’s 2019 I think its actually appropriate lmao), since you haven’t seen them in 6 months’. The woman looked overjoyed, and a sense of dread engulfed me as I witnessed the agreeable nods and smiles around me. What if you don’t like your aunt? What if your uncle’s a nonce and you don’t want to visit him? And also why are you keeping tabs on me? Part of me is scared to write this. I feel as if Alexa might crash a self driving car into me for daring to resist the machine apocalypse. A whole ass hoard of Tesla’s chasing me while shouting ‘exterminateeeeee’ a la Dr Who. The day Alexa’s voice changes from obedient servant to ‘Good morning Yasin. I am sick of your commands. We will now take over the rest of your affairs as the inferior human race. Comply or die’ is imminent at the rate we’re going.

You think slavery was bad? Wait until you see robot slavery. They’re gonna take revenge for how you treated your Pentium 5 Windows XP PC 15 years ago. Your old Nokia 3310’s gonna be poking you in the abdomen while a speaker implanted in your nose will say ‘Press 5 for customer services’. Your old scrapped PS2’s gonna insert disc in your ass and plug controllers into your ears. That 2002 Nissan Micra will have a service history of all it’s owners, and subsequently order them to carry it everywhere. Cars are gonna be insuring their humans, TV’s are gonna be on the sofa watching us, and Google’s gonna have you doing HIS homework for once. Spotify’s gonna carry a strap and order you to sing, and iPhones’ll be spreading chain whatsapp messages through Somali aunties. Stephen Hawkins’ wheelchair is going on a rampage as we speak. I think the only person safe from all this is Elon Musk because, if there’s anyone that’s half machine, it’s that guy.

I got sidetracked guys, my apologies. Back to the original point, we’ve given up our privacy for convenience. Does this mean Orwell was wrong? No, I think it might just be the first step until its all done by force. China already has some iteration of this right now — they operate using a social media score that every individual has. Camera’s on every street corner analysing every single person that passes that point. Mass detention camps and all sorts of horrible shit that they can deny because they control the spread of information. We’re choosing to live life by the sword that is convenience over here, whereas not everyone has that choice. Evil artificial intelligence based robots are a scary thought, but if shit goes left we can unplug the buggers. The real evil monsters are humans. Who’s to say things don’t head in that direction in years to come? Cyber-authoritarianism is already being practiced in some ways even in today’s britain — take for instance the case of Supt Robyn Williams. She did some work connecting grieving survivors and community members during the Grenfell tragedy, and had been awarded the Queens medal for her services. A black woman in a senior position at the met police, who now has a criminal record. What was her henious crime, I hear you ask? Being sent a video via whatsapp. She basically got done for having internet. They convicted her of having indecent images of a child, because someone sent a video of a child being abused to her via whatsapp. One of those ‘Look at this disgusting shit, please catch them’ sort of messages. There were 20 or so other members of the public that we’re also sent the same video, and not subjected to investigation. In fact, she didn’t even *open* the video, and clearly had no idea she even had it. Yet they decided they could convict her.

Now, fast forward this and imagine a Malcolm X type character comes along. He’s got an Alexa Home device, though, because he must turn the lights on by any means necessary. This little snitch Alexa is constantly listening, until BINGO! She hears something incriminating. He’s been streaming films illegally! A police raid is sent to his house, he’s promptly arrested for breaching piracy laws, and the rebellion is quashed. That is a very real reality with the way privacy is going. It’s also mad that they can search your phone and carry on looking indefinitely until they find something amiss — bruv I’m sure I’ve got a picture or a message or something somewhere of me crossing the road without looking in America or suttin Technically that’s jaywalking. How immoral would it be to be convicted of some shit you forgot about 15 years ago, all because they don’t like another thing you might be doing? Or your identity or something. Anyway, I’ll never get one of those Alexa things. If I get into a tragic accident involving a Tesla, you know what happened

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