Stuck

Diary Entry #2

Yesterday turned out okay. Amy (bestfriend), Monique (like a sister) and myself went to Flip Out which is this trampolining place. And boy did Monique have a few things to show us! 1 hour and we were toast!

Afterwards Amy and myself decided we would go swimming at the Bay again and we had deep relationship talks as we are both struggling with similar issues due to our partners mental health. In the end we sunbathed as the wind was too cold however we did vow to jump off the wharf once and yes, yes we did it and it was exhilarating! and we just sat off the side and dried ourselves off watching the bay and soaking in the last of the sun in silence. When we decided to go home we got pizza and blobbed out at hers until my partner finished work at 7.

Now recently my partner brought to my attention i am not being as affectionate as i once was and he is right. I can’t pinpoint when or what made me stop going to him for love or comfort but its true i have almost completely stopped making an effort in that department. I mean he’s no saint, there isn’t much push from him either but there is no point shifting the blame here. Is it my medication? Is it me? Is it him? I don’t know, I really wish I knew so I could fix the root issue.

Do you ever feel like you are working more on keeping you’re relationship afloat than being in the relationship itself? Hell i do. And its rough. Not to compare myself or my relationship with Riley to another couple… BUT for the first time i witnessed a small negative interaction between the couple we live with (Sophie and Liam, engaged and good friends of mine). Now I say a negative interaction I mean they didn’t argue per see… What happened was Sophie started cooking dinner and decided she would do a quick vacuum whilst doing so. She realized she couldn't keep a close eye on her and Liams steak whilst it was cooking so she asked Liam “Hey babe, can you please watch over the steak while I quickly do this vacuuming?” Perfectly reasonable request right? Liam, whom was on the couch either reading or watching something on his phone (cannot quite remember) responds with “ No, how about you stop trying to multi-task and just watch over dinner?” which admittedly was a bit harsh no? And if I were Sophie, I would of bitten back with some real sassy remark. But no, Sophie responded with “please babe? i just, i want to get this out of the way..” again reasonable, Liam responds with “ No babe, just focus on one thing at once.” So Sophie flusters around trying to do everything anyway but nothing comes of his remarks. Sophie took a very passive approach to Liam’s responses which made me realize maybe I need to start taking the high-road more often. I feel Riley and me have a lot of work to do around communication. Pointers? Anyone?

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