The Time I Planned to End it All.

This is a story of how the Lord saved me while rewarding my faith with a miracle

This is the story I have been putting off writing because it’s about the lowest period in my life and it’s difficult to share it with an unknown audience. However, I have shared it many times over the years with other Christians and non believers whose faith has needed a boost. At this time I was completely heart broken and so angry at God, I could not see any reason to go on living. None whatsoever.

Despite the fact I was only twenty nine years old and happily married, that was not enough to save me.

On this particular day in June, I collapsed in tears that could have literally filled buckets because I was crying my heart out and I was alone. My husband was unaware of my meltdown as he was outside mowing the lawn and I had lied earlier when I had told him I was fine.

But I wasn’t fine. I was releasing a tsunami of tears and I wasn’t at all sure I’d be able to stop it.

By the time I regained some composure from the meltdown, my husband was back inside and although he asked what was wrong, I dismissed him. I was good at hiding my deepest feelings from him back then. A few minutes later, when he handed me a copy of The Guidepost that had come in the mail, I sat down in the living room where I casually leafed through it until a certain story captured my attention as it seemed to literally jump off the page.

It was the story of a man who had received a diagnosis of terminal cancer and was waiting to die, but yet it was now years later and he was completely cured and sharing his story. I grabbed onto his story like a woman drowning who…

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